Passionate Virtuosity

So, I don't know what I'm doing come this fall.

I'm anticipating not being able to walk for about 6 months, and then, with a cane.

I'm feeling very sexy about this.

So, my job at OU was visiting, just for the year, and I knew that and accepted that--but that was before we discovered we're in the worst economy since the Great Depression.

I applied for over 25 jobs this winter, and most places sent me nice letters about how they suspended their searches. Some places simply rejected me, but with comments about how there were "unprecedented" numbers of applicants. It was a long, cold winter.

In which I tried (with various degrees of success) not to take job rejection personally.

I did land a job as an adjunct at the University of Alabama... but it would be one of those jobs where I would work really hard, not get paid much, and not have benefits. I was still looking and hoping for better. I have applications in at Bowling Green, Kent State, Cincinnati, and Lake Superior State (because I still have that unrequited crush on the UP of MI). I also applied for a job here at OU in advising and retention.

And then I broke my ankle. And had surgery. And have lost most of the past month to a vicodin haze. And get to look forward to months of walker walking, physical therapy, and eventual walking with a cane.

I can't organize a move to Alabama. I told them last week. I had an interview at Cinci, but still haven't heard back. The interview was also completed in a vicodin haze, so... who knows.

I'm still applying for things, but mostly in Ohio, because I think I might have enough support and funds to get to Cinci, or Zanesville, or Kent.

I'm also starting to apply to more jobs in advising and even residence life.

But there's a good possibility that I'll end up moving home with my folks. This is dangerous, because my mother may drive me to suicide by Christmas. And I wouldn't have health benefits, and I'm going to need to be going to PT 4 days a week for a while.

Yet, it might be good for me to take a year to mostly write and send out. All of the jobs I apply for, I'm concerned with how hard I'd have to work--how much energy I'd have left-over for the writing. I really want to re-orient my life around the writing.

So, my life is completely open-ended right now. I'm trying not to be scared. I'm trying to surrender all, as I sit on the couch with my leg elevated.

Thinking about trying to use this space again.

Dipping my toe in.

Because this broken ankle thing--turns out, it's a serious, life-altering sort of injury, and I'm getting tired of the television in my solitary confinement.

If I do come back here (as a writer, I totally read regularly) I'm definitely going to have to get some new icons.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -- good or bad. When you're finished,post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

		I will marry Jon.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Canada in our fabulous House.
		We will have 6 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Gray Mini Cooper.
		I will spend my days as a Poet, and live happily ever after.